Call Me.

I'm 19 now.

Is it too much to ask for my acne to go away now?

It's actually getting worse.

I think i'm back to when I was 15. Its ridiculous.

My mom has come up with all types of excuses for my acne.

• Genetics. Obviously.
• What I eat. I don't really eat greasy foods anymore. But lately i've been eating a lot of carbs. Ew.
• Pent up feelings i've been holding inside; HA! I have a feelings, this is true, but I highly doubt they are manifesting themselves through bumps on my face.
• Not sleeping enough.
• Sleeping too much; Hello accidental 4 hour nap I took today!
• Rubbing my face on Nacho. This might be a cause to my breakouts. I love my dog. I hug and kiss him. Which is probably a bad idea. He lays down on the ground and rubs his face all over the place, but oh well. You only live once. Might as well show your love while you can.
• Not washing my sheets; she has a point here. I didn't really realize today how gross my sheets are. You know how gross it is when someone lays in your bed and they leave their scent there? I can smell myself on my sheets. Not just my normal overly lotioned scent. My musk. From days and nights of rolling around on my bed. Sweating.

I need to fix things! I've been doing what I can though. I use SkinID.

Hayden Panettiere lies on a daily basis.

My acne has yet to clear up, Hayden.

Why so concerned about my skin lately?

I just looked in the mirror and was disgusted.

I gots to have good skin for my wedding! Duh.

Globes and Maps.

Lately I've been trying to be more worldly.

I recently started to learn French.

I've been brushing up on my Spanish by reading and watching various Spanish programs.

Theres so much to the world outside of Montgomery County.

I love Montgomery County and Maryland as a whole.

I just feel like, as a community, we exist in a microcosm that is ignorant to our surroundings.

For instance, High school students are worried about such petty things.

And In the end barely any of it matters.

I recently found out about a practice called 'breast ironing', which is a common practice performed in Cameroon where the developing breasts of young women are pressed down with hot rocks to hinder growth. The mothers of these young women perform this on their daughters to ward off pregnancy because they are supposedly no longer viewed as sexual.

I've been to Africa before- both the urban and village areas.

I don't think I paid attention to whether people were dressed conservatively or not.

Its just such a different culture.

Lately I've been watching a lot of telenovelas in an attempt to not forget my 13 years of studying Spanish.

I love Spanish culture.

Although they are notedly Roman Catholic, Latinos are very in tune with their sexuality.

Lately i've been thinking about my culture.

Am I in touch with my culture?

I can't speak my language.

I know very little about my history.

That needs to change.

What a pointless post.

No Stress

Crazy day today. Went to Falls Church, Va to find a bridesmaid dress and failed.

After that we went to Tyson’s and after being in bloomingdales for about 10 minutes we found the most perfect bcbgeneration dress for 130$.

I was ecstatic! It was almost unfair finding a dress that quickly.

After that we had to race back to Maryland so I could go to my pacsun interview.

I think I did a good job, because they called me back to come again tomorrow!

I found out that my friend had gotten a call also. Yay!

An amazing day, I got home and tried my dress on and looked it up online at the brand’s website. It was on sale for 75$… Yeah. That happened. So we just have to go to the mall again and return it. Not complaining. I love to shop.

boom.

I have also affirmed that I am a terrible friend. I don't see how I can treat my closest friend with such negativity.

I'm just rude. I don't like it when people get worked up over things they can't control and that shouldn't have anything to do with them.

Like a hypocrite.

It doesn't matter what I think.

It's not my business

Soco Amaretto Lime

I'm gonna stay 18 forever.

Except not.

My life isn't a Brand New song.

This isn't Hollywood.

I'm not famous.

I live in reality.

So I will do what I do best...

Before I Turn 19, I need to:

• Clean my room and unpack all my stuff from college.
• Prioritize.
• I'm far to lazy to list anymore. I just realized its a waste.

I Know Everything.

Its already July 11, and I haven't accomplished any of the goals I made for myself in my last post.

Probably because they weren't very important.

I didn't sign up for summer classes.

I didn't finish any books, I started a few though.

I made a friendship bracelet, and started a few, but now they're gathering dust in my drawer.

I did learn a couple of songs on acoustic.

It makes me feel good to know that I can accomplish something moderately artistic.

What else do I have to my name anyways?

I job hunted... to no avail.

I didn't want to work at Hollister anyways.

The job at Hot Topic I wanted would have been all about image, just like hollister was.

Except in a different direction.

I've been thoroughly enjoying the time i've been spending with my family.

I have finally begun to bond with my dad, and its amazing.

Its just a shame its occurring so late.

Watching the World Cup has been fulfilling in more ways than one.

(Here come shallow remarks)

I get to spend time with my family.

I get to oogle sweaty men running around.

Hoorah for male bravado!

My mom got me thinking yesterday though, she told me

"You're young. This is the time for you to have fun."

Okay, so background, I've been kind of... avoiding like 12 of my friends, just ....because.

I am perfectly content hanging out with my family.

I have so much fun with them.

I just hate going to hang with my friends, and feeling like i'm missing time with my family.

This is how it breaks down-

My college friends: I live with them. What's the rush in seeing them? I understand the importance other people place in "keeping in touch". I just want to be able to move back to school and be just as tight as we were. I care about them, its just.. I don't really feel the need to see them. So of course, i've been making empty promises to go hang out. I need to act on them. One-sided friendships aren't fair.

The "Family"- aka the posse I began to hang out with the last 2 months of college.

For some reason, the time apart has made me realize that i'm only really tight with two of the people in the fam. I wonder how things will be in the fall. I'll keep my distance, make myself scarce. I'll always be tight with K. P is my girl and always will be.

I don't know about A and J though.

I know what its like to be the odd one out.

I want to surround myself with people that appreciate me.

The Asian Trio.

Always and Forever.

These girls are actual family.

Lately, things have been kind of strained, but in the most asian trio way possible.

I've been dropping the ball.

Phones work both ways, and I have lately put up no effort to use mine.

E is moving soon.

Too soon.

I've hung out with her... twice this summer.

Fail.

No regrets... right?

She's been doing her own thing. Seeing her people. As she should, her time is limited.

I've been pretty good about J, I talk to her on a daily basis.

Its a healthy relationship.

Goodnight for now.

I have to wake up early for mass tomorrow.

Hopefully 7am mass will bring me clarity. Its a lot quieter than the usual 9am.