Day Two

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. When I was younger, I was a Harry Potter fanatic. I used to carry around a painted chopstick and pretend it was my wand.
2. I didn't know what my college looked like until I had orientation.
3. When i'm alone with my dog, sometimes I talk to him.
4. I bless my dog when he sneezes.
5. I love brown rice.
6. I don't like ham.
7. I will never get tired of Taking Back Sunday.
8. I cut my toenails once every two months.
9. I didn't go to preschool.

Day One

Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. I have no interest in speaking to you. The one word texts you send me fuel my anger-flame.
2. I love you and want to give you the world.
3. Please don't pee on the floor.
4. I wish you would call me more often.
5. I think about you constantly. I hope you make good decisions.
6. I miss you. Please be good.
7. Why do you speak to me?
8. I wish we had a closer relationship. I want to be able to conversate with you without awkwardness.
9. I regret not seeing you as often as I promised.
10. I can't look at blue M&Ms the same way ever again. And I love it.

Diez Dias

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

I'll do these because I haven't been showing my blogspot any love in a while.

The Only Exception

I want to give my Mother the world.

Tonight she hit a deer on the way to work.

She's fine. Thankfully.

I'm just shaken. Everyone is.

You just don't expect things like this to happen to you.

I love my Mom more than anything.

fin.

on a lighter note, she thought all the jersey shore kids were spanish.

HAHA

Call Me.

I'm 19 now.

Is it too much to ask for my acne to go away now?

It's actually getting worse.

I think i'm back to when I was 15. Its ridiculous.

My mom has come up with all types of excuses for my acne.

• Genetics. Obviously.
• What I eat. I don't really eat greasy foods anymore. But lately i've been eating a lot of carbs. Ew.
• Pent up feelings i've been holding inside; HA! I have a feelings, this is true, but I highly doubt they are manifesting themselves through bumps on my face.
• Not sleeping enough.
• Sleeping too much; Hello accidental 4 hour nap I took today!
• Rubbing my face on Nacho. This might be a cause to my breakouts. I love my dog. I hug and kiss him. Which is probably a bad idea. He lays down on the ground and rubs his face all over the place, but oh well. You only live once. Might as well show your love while you can.
• Not washing my sheets; she has a point here. I didn't really realize today how gross my sheets are. You know how gross it is when someone lays in your bed and they leave their scent there? I can smell myself on my sheets. Not just my normal overly lotioned scent. My musk. From days and nights of rolling around on my bed. Sweating.

I need to fix things! I've been doing what I can though. I use SkinID.

Hayden Panettiere lies on a daily basis.

My acne has yet to clear up, Hayden.

Why so concerned about my skin lately?

I just looked in the mirror and was disgusted.

I gots to have good skin for my wedding! Duh.

Globes and Maps.

Lately I've been trying to be more worldly.

I recently started to learn French.

I've been brushing up on my Spanish by reading and watching various Spanish programs.

Theres so much to the world outside of Montgomery County.

I love Montgomery County and Maryland as a whole.

I just feel like, as a community, we exist in a microcosm that is ignorant to our surroundings.

For instance, High school students are worried about such petty things.

And In the end barely any of it matters.

I recently found out about a practice called 'breast ironing', which is a common practice performed in Cameroon where the developing breasts of young women are pressed down with hot rocks to hinder growth. The mothers of these young women perform this on their daughters to ward off pregnancy because they are supposedly no longer viewed as sexual.

I've been to Africa before- both the urban and village areas.

I don't think I paid attention to whether people were dressed conservatively or not.

Its just such a different culture.

Lately I've been watching a lot of telenovelas in an attempt to not forget my 13 years of studying Spanish.

I love Spanish culture.

Although they are notedly Roman Catholic, Latinos are very in tune with their sexuality.

Lately i've been thinking about my culture.

Am I in touch with my culture?

I can't speak my language.

I know very little about my history.

That needs to change.

What a pointless post.

No Stress

Crazy day today. Went to Falls Church, Va to find a bridesmaid dress and failed.

After that we went to Tyson’s and after being in bloomingdales for about 10 minutes we found the most perfect bcbgeneration dress for 130$.

I was ecstatic! It was almost unfair finding a dress that quickly.

After that we had to race back to Maryland so I could go to my pacsun interview.

I think I did a good job, because they called me back to come again tomorrow!

I found out that my friend had gotten a call also. Yay!

An amazing day, I got home and tried my dress on and looked it up online at the brand’s website. It was on sale for 75$… Yeah. That happened. So we just have to go to the mall again and return it. Not complaining. I love to shop.

boom.

I have also affirmed that I am a terrible friend. I don't see how I can treat my closest friend with such negativity.

I'm just rude. I don't like it when people get worked up over things they can't control and that shouldn't have anything to do with them.

Like a hypocrite.

It doesn't matter what I think.

It's not my business

Soco Amaretto Lime

I'm gonna stay 18 forever.

Except not.

My life isn't a Brand New song.

This isn't Hollywood.

I'm not famous.

I live in reality.

So I will do what I do best...

Before I Turn 19, I need to:

• Clean my room and unpack all my stuff from college.
• Prioritize.
• I'm far to lazy to list anymore. I just realized its a waste.

I Know Everything.

Its already July 11, and I haven't accomplished any of the goals I made for myself in my last post.

Probably because they weren't very important.

I didn't sign up for summer classes.

I didn't finish any books, I started a few though.

I made a friendship bracelet, and started a few, but now they're gathering dust in my drawer.

I did learn a couple of songs on acoustic.

It makes me feel good to know that I can accomplish something moderately artistic.

What else do I have to my name anyways?

I job hunted... to no avail.

I didn't want to work at Hollister anyways.

The job at Hot Topic I wanted would have been all about image, just like hollister was.

Except in a different direction.

I've been thoroughly enjoying the time i've been spending with my family.

I have finally begun to bond with my dad, and its amazing.

Its just a shame its occurring so late.

Watching the World Cup has been fulfilling in more ways than one.

(Here come shallow remarks)

I get to spend time with my family.

I get to oogle sweaty men running around.

Hoorah for male bravado!

My mom got me thinking yesterday though, she told me

"You're young. This is the time for you to have fun."

Okay, so background, I've been kind of... avoiding like 12 of my friends, just ....because.

I am perfectly content hanging out with my family.

I have so much fun with them.

I just hate going to hang with my friends, and feeling like i'm missing time with my family.

This is how it breaks down-

My college friends: I live with them. What's the rush in seeing them? I understand the importance other people place in "keeping in touch". I just want to be able to move back to school and be just as tight as we were. I care about them, its just.. I don't really feel the need to see them. So of course, i've been making empty promises to go hang out. I need to act on them. One-sided friendships aren't fair.

The "Family"- aka the posse I began to hang out with the last 2 months of college.

For some reason, the time apart has made me realize that i'm only really tight with two of the people in the fam. I wonder how things will be in the fall. I'll keep my distance, make myself scarce. I'll always be tight with K. P is my girl and always will be.

I don't know about A and J though.

I know what its like to be the odd one out.

I want to surround myself with people that appreciate me.

The Asian Trio.

Always and Forever.

These girls are actual family.

Lately, things have been kind of strained, but in the most asian trio way possible.

I've been dropping the ball.

Phones work both ways, and I have lately put up no effort to use mine.

E is moving soon.

Too soon.

I've hung out with her... twice this summer.

Fail.

No regrets... right?

She's been doing her own thing. Seeing her people. As she should, her time is limited.

I've been pretty good about J, I talk to her on a daily basis.

Its a healthy relationship.

Goodnight for now.

I have to wake up early for mass tomorrow.

Hopefully 7am mass will bring me clarity. Its a lot quieter than the usual 9am.

Heels Over Head.

Summer is finally here.

I've spent the last couple of days amounting to absolutely nothing.

So here's a list of things I should accomplish soon.

Sign up for summer classes? Maybe. Or I could just take an extra semester of school. Whatever. The world is my oyster, and my mom is supportive.
Read a book. Or 8. Go through all the Harry Potters. Try out a LOTR. Read White Oleander.
Make a friendship bracelet.
Return those textbooks I rented...
Learn how to play a full song on guitar.
Enjoy time home with family.
Keep job hunting.
Stop making empty promises.

Thundercats are go!

Paper Trails

You know that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach?

The one where you are expecting the worse, but theres still a tiny, foolish glimmer of hope in the back of your mind?

I feel that way too often.

And no, things don't usually end up my way.

I'm tired of complaining, I've resolved to do everything I can.

But what is there to do when you've exhausted all your resources?

When you ruined your first and second chances, its hard not to feel discouraged.

So here I am again.

Once again, picking up the pieces.

Chasing Pavements.

New Goal:

Cut High Fructose Corn Syrup out of my diet.

This is going to be a lot harder than necessary.

They put it in everything.

Learning Chemistry has urged me to make this decision.

Knowledge is power.

Sleep Alone

Cluttered Room, Cluttered Mind.

I'm just tired.

So much to do.

I have the time, I just don't have the willpower anymore.

It feels like everything in my life is a chore.

Clean your room.

Do your homework.

Talk to an old friend.

Breathe.

Lather, Rinse and Repeat.

Beautiful Nightmare.

Lately i've been having these terrible realistic dreams.

and by Terrible, I mean that they aren't good.

These dreams influence my interactions with the people around me.

Unnecessary hostility.

I don't mean for it to happen...It was just because of this dream I had.

If night-dreams are my escape from reality, then I wish they would be less realistic.

American Dreams.

Does finding freedom mean leaving behind the things

you have come to love the most?

Freedom.

"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."

-Fight Club

Hotter than Wasabi.

Blogging is kind of like that shiny new toy you get when you're little.

Its exciting for a week and you play with it constantly.

Then you throw it in the corner and ignore it.

You only play with it after that because you feel obligated to.

Not really in the mood to write anymore.

Maybe that will change.

Misplaced Words.

Today is my first day of break!

How exciting.

Except not really.

The weather here is dreadful.

I woke up excited from a good night's sleep in my own bed to look outside into a gray, dreary day.

No morning run.

Boo.

I made up for it by working out in my basement though.

And then it was like that was all cancelled out because I accidentally ate a slice.. or two of chocolate cake from WholeFoods.

I have no self control.

Its just like all those times I eat oranges, even though I'm allergic.

I shouldn't complain when my fingers get itchy, fat and pink like sausages.

I guess i'm going to have to work out again tonight.

But that's okay. It gives me something to do.

I wonder why colleges plan their spring breaks to be at such an obscure time.

It is nowhere near Easter..

Not complaining though.

I needed to get off my campus.

Nacho looks like Chewbacca right now.

Someone needs a good groom.

Not this guy though.

Gretchen Meet World.

"Oh don't worry I'm not homeless again."

Wise words from a wise man.

Anyways, today I finally realized that my 12 previous years in Catholic school were not wasted.

It left me with that desire to always be...."nice".

I always want to please people.

I avoid conflict at all costs.

I hate disappointing people.

Lying makes me feel terribly guilty.

I guess thats a good thing.

Its hard doing what you think is right, especially if it means hurting someone you don't really care that much for.

Especially if that person is trying to....usurp.....my good student status!

I used the word usurp.

Good day yes.

Absolutely useless post.

In a House Made of Glass.

I need to be more environmentally conscious.

Today I washed my hair with Organix Pomegranate and Green Tea shampoo.

It smells lovely, and claimed to be all natural.

When I looked on the back label, however, there were so many chemical-sounding ingredients.

What gives, peeps?

Lately I haven't really had a taste for meat.

Today I opted for the vegetarian options my school has to offer.

I was quite pleased.

I never thought I would be craving tofu, but today was just one of those days.

We'll see how long this will last.

I'm just writing aimlessly right now.

I want to sleep quite badly, but my neighbors are being terribly loud.

Paperthin boundaries disguised as brick walls don't really do much to keep the affairs of rambunctious teen males and their girlfriends quiet.

but I guess I can't complain that much.

I listen to music pretty loudly in my room, and I don't doubt they can probably hear it.

Today was a good day, by the way.

I utilized the library AND the gym.

My heart is happy.

I'm ready to move on.

The spaceman that can't get high.

Whatever that means.

Manage Me. I'm a Mess.

Yet another unproductive day.

I think i'm starting to lose sight of what promises I made to myself at the beginning of 2010.

I don't want to be another one of those people that keep to their resolutions for a month.

This is for me.

1. Don't add random people on facebook anymore. If you don't know them in real life, or you don't need to know them, you definitely don't need them on your facebook. Even if its a cute guy. In real life, people usually don't look like what their profile picture looks like. Just like on "He's Just Not That Into You"; The Drew Barrymore character. Just think of her the next time you are thinking of adding a guy just because he knows how to take a profile picture.
2. Limit facebook usage to every other day. If some REALLY needs to talk to you, chances are they have your phone number.
3. Exercise more. Swimsuit season is coming. Not even to be shallow, your body doesn't need to be perfect. You've got nothing unless you've got your health.
4. Stop being useless. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling? Shouldn't happen anymore. There are always things to be done.
5. Don't buy something you see JUST because it's cute. You are in college. AKA- You are broke.
6. Take care of your skin and nails! This doesn't need to be one of your resolutions.... but you are an adult. Acne is for high schoolers. You left that behind when you left Olney.
7. Don't sell yourself short. Pretty self-explanatory.
8. Take time to do something you love everyday.
9. Do at least 3 hours of homework everyday.
10. Utilize TV guide. Channel flipping is bound to waste your time.

Strike All The Bells...

I need to make some lifestyle changes.

Suburban Living.

Thank goodness for Fridays.

Got to hang out with a good friend.

Funny, we weren't close in high school, we were just acquaintances.

We started talking at the beginning of this school year.

She doesn't even go to my college.

I'm thankful though.

She's amazing.

It makes me wonder what else I probably missed out on in high school.

..but what's done is done..

I got to see Alice in Wonderland!

It was a very nice film,

and considering it was opening day, it wasn't nearly as crowded as I expected it would be.

Movie theatres make me wonder though...

How is it that some people are able to use their regular speaking voices during a film?

Really? I just paid 10.50 to have you interrupt my movie.

Okay, it was a child.

But still.

I'm not going to mention fact that the child was speaking loudly (not in english) though.

Because that just makes me look bad.

After that we went to the mall.

I managed to get a pair of 7$ jeans!

and some hair extensions.

mmgirl you talkin bout muh weave?

The mall was a-swarmin with 13-15 year olds.

I forgot the mall was the hotspot for young teens on Friday nights.

Aww, how sweet.

At the mall without your parents for the first time.

Make them proud!

Or Not.

They just move in SWARMS.

What particularly bothered me was when I was trying to buy my hair extensions.

The cashier had a eyebrow ring.

That didn't bother me though.

This girl with a septum piercing kept flirting with him though.

She had to be all but 14 years old.

Ugh.

Keep it to yourself.

When i'm shopping and you get in my way, I get rude.

As rude as my 12 previous years in Catholic school will allow me to be.

Which isn't rude at all.

Found out Jack was at Towson a few hours ago.

Local boys.

I laugh.

Doppelganger

Today a man that looked exactly like Chris Carrabba sat next to me in the commons.

Tattoos and all.

He was even staring dreamily out with window.

And occasionally glanced at me.

But probably because I was catching glances at him first.

I tried to cover it up by pretending to look out the window.

You don't have to tell me.

I know i'm stealthy.

Everything Must Go.

Today was a better day.

I can't be mad at the people I like for more than a few hours.

The same person that inspired some angry bloggage is the same person that helped making today enjoyable.

Its the little things that matter.

I guess all I needed was a change of scenery.

Weird things make me happy.

People watching, for instance.

I sat in front of a huge window overlooking Academic Drive and just watched people walking by.

....Is that creepy?

;)

Is it creepy now?